5 Ways to Heal After a Break-up

Relationships impact our mental health more than we sometimes care to admit. Whether it’s going good or bad, we always find our emotional state changing alongside someone we care deeply about. This is the natural way our brains and bodies react to love.

When a break up comes and tears this organic process apart, a new kind of emotion rises within us. Something we don’t completely understand, yet, know is debilitating. A broken relationship will often make us feel we have broken ourselves. And through this, the state of our mental health suffers in numerous ways.

If you or someone you love is currently going through this, there are things you can do. The following article elaborates on 5 ways you can heal from a break-up. As you read, it’s important to remember that this process takes time and patience is ultimately your greatest virtue.

1. Write Down Your Thoughts

When it comes to the healing process, it’s important to have a safe place where you can release emotions. Though there are multiple routes for this, one of the most promising is keeping a journal on you.

By writing down your thoughts and emotions, you’re allowing yourself to develop a better understanding of them. It can be a bit difficult for some at first as we’re not all writers, but it’s important to remember this journal is for your eyes only.

Furthermore, it may help to pretend you’re writing to someone. Whether this is a stranger or a close friend, it can really help with the healing process to pretend someone is reading. 

Of course, this might sound a bit odd to someone. But if you are to write with the idea that someone else is listening, you may develop a new understanding of your thoughts and emotions.

2. Talk to Someone

In any situation that confines our mental health, having a support system is absolutely vital. By talking our thoughts and emotions over with someone, we’re allowed new perspectives and fresh insights on the matter.

Unfortunately, there are many out there who may feel as though they don’t have a support system. If this is your case, keep in mind the following people and see who you can reach out to:

  • Close friends

  • Family

  • Local and online support system groups

  • Mental health professionals (i.e. counselor, therapist)

  • Members of your faith community

Everyone has somebody they can reach out to talk to even if they feel as though they don’t. And I wouldn’t make this claim if having a person (or group of people) to talk to wasn’t so important for the healing process.

It goes beyond the idea of venting out your thoughts. By getting another’s opinion, you’re constructing new thoughts and further developing yourself. As you’ll read later, self-development is a key to moving on.

3. Pick Up New Hobbies

When it comes to a break-up, most of us learn something new about ourselves, whether good or bad. We become aware of an aspect of our personality we weren’t aware of before. And though many of us suffer through this new understanding, there’s no reason to make something good out of it.

As your awareness of yourself continues to grow, it’s important to pick up hobbies that go along with this awareness. There are so many different hobbies for so many different people, it’s impossible for us to claim which is right for you.

If you’re like many others out there, you may struggle to find a hobby that will help you along the healing process. In cases as such, there’s no harm in experimenting with things you’ve always wanted to try. For example, though I’m a writer at heart, I found that I have a fondness for sketching after a detrimental break-up. Prior to this experience, I didn’t realize I wanted to release emotions through other forms of creativity beyond my writing.

I promise there’s something out there for everyone - hidden talents and skills - many of us have yet to reveal to ourselves.

4. Discover Who You Really Are

This isn’t to assert you don’t know who you really are as of this time. Rather, it’s to assume you don’t know everything there is to know about your potential. Our lives constantly change whether we like it or not. And though break-ups can bring a lot of bad aspects of ourselves to light, it can also reveal a lot of areas we may be missing out on.

There are a number of different ways to come upon this discovery. You may find it when you’re writing in your journal or talking to someone or working on that new hobby. Or it may appear out of nowhere a moment you were least expecting it.

Life has a funny way of allowing us to see more into ourselves as time progresses. We’re born into this world as a seed just waiting to root. As those roots spread, our flowers begin to flourish.

A break-up may seem as though this flourishing has been put to a complete halt. As though there may never be a flourish again. That’s why it’s important to try to keep some optimism as you go through the healing process. And to continue working on yourself as an individual in retrospect to who you were in a relationship.

5. Continue to Develop Yourself

Continuing with self-development is essential to a break-up as it allows us to grow out of the person we were at the time of our relationship. We become wiser, stronger, and more in sync with our own well-being. Through this, we open the possibility of meeting more people and understanding what we need out of a relationship.

Written by Paul James.